Top 10 Best improvised blunt-object weapons!

November 20, 2008 by Bakkouz  
Filed under Featured, Offbeat

Is this the kind of thing that keeps you up at nights? Wondering what things in your home you could bludgeon guests with? Well, wonder no longer! Your one-stop source for guest-bludgeoning tips has come up with a highly practical resource!

1. Crowbar

I know it doesn’t look like it in that picture but those things are usually pretty heavy in my experience, not for chicks or weak men unless slow swings at the knee/shin are of your opponent is useful in a particular confrontation. They can also be short meaning you have to be fairly close a combatant to use it effectively.

2. Baseball bat

I recommend the smaller wooden ones, they might break if you hit someone over the head with it but a blow like that should soften them up a bit and you can then proceed with the fists or look for something else to hit them with. Or stab them with the sharpest part of the broken bat. These tend to be light enough that even frail chicks can manage a fast enough swing. The key is to hit the right spot. I recommend a downward swing to the top of the skull.

3. shovel

Your average garden shovel is surprisingly light and maneuverable, with just enough heft on the head to give a decent blow. Hand-eye coordination is a must though as they are also easy to dodge due to the long skinny handle. Hit with the edge to make it into a dull axe, but this post is about blunt weapons lets move on. The handle will break if you hit someone hard enough so make that first blow count.

4. pipe

In the old days it used to be lead, now it’s steel. Again, this one you shouldn’t bother with unless you are in shape and capable of swinging something heavy. It can cause a little pain but not much damage unless you go straight for the skull. What you need are some fittings on the end to make make it heavier and hurt more.

5. Wrench

They tend to be too short to be effective or too heavy for most people to use except in a two-hand hammerthrow swinging kind of motion which is usually not practical. The noisy, rattly sound it makes is annoying. You can’t sneak up on anybody with one of these.

6. Firewood

Too thick for most people to hold comfortable, but it is easily disposed of.

7. Ham (frozen, not as pictured with cloves sticking out)

Also easy to dispose of but quite hard to grip properly. I imagine that it would be most effective if you were to throw it at someone or drop it on them if they happened to be lying prone and still. If you are strong could shot-put it across the room, but if have that much strength there are better options on this list.

8. Rock

Like a ham, only you can’t eat it afterwards. Rocks are convenient, plentiful and come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, suitable for dropping on people or throwing at them. It’s old and tested and found effective, you can’t beat that.

9. Tire-Iron

Like the aforementioned shovel this is surprisingly easy to handle for everybody. The t-shaped kind can be thrown at people like a blunt throwing star and the L-shaped kind makes an effective close-quarters baton.

10. Golf-Club

Useful if your opponent is standing 5 feet away and has no intention of coming loser. Not very effective if you hit them with anything but the head, still you can kill somebody with it if your timing and accuracy are good.

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20 Comments On This Post:



  1. Mazz on Thu, 20th Nov 2008 12:31 pm 

    i choose
    my FISTS
    MUHAHAHAHHAHAHA
    ARE YOU READY TO RUMBlEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE????

  2. casas rurales en Ciudad Real on Thu, 20th Nov 2008 3:18 pm 

    What about bricks? Years ago, my buddy swung one at me in a drunken stupor!

  3. X Pensive Wino on Fri, 21st Nov 2008 7:56 pm 

    Frozen leg of lamb or full bone pork hock works much better than a ham because of the nice handle. I have stacks of paving stones and slate tile in the garage that would work nicely as well.

  4. KJ on Sun, 30th Nov 2008 12:48 pm 

    Someone has been playing Condemned :P

  5. HandheldGamer on Mon, 1st Dec 2008 10:54 am 

    I’d go with the ham. Not as destructive, but would definitely add more insult to injury. Imagine getting beat up with a ham…

  6. dizi izle on Fri, 26th Dec 2008 4:49 pm 

    rumbieee Muhahahaha :P

  7. Alan on Wed, 31st Dec 2008 11:03 pm 

    How about a pool cue? Very effective lol

  8. Title 24 on Mon, 26th Jan 2009 9:18 pm 

    What About Cricket bat?

  9. Photos on Canvas on Mon, 26th Jan 2009 11:07 pm 

    How about a Hockey? It is also very effective.lollllllll

  10. Elexis-MBA admission essay on Tue, 27th Jan 2009 6:47 pm 

    I think baseball bat is the most popular because I have seen it used in movies many times LOL!

  11. Charlotte Real Estate on Fri, 30th Jan 2009 8:13 pm 

    Hahahah. yes you are right. baseball bat is very popular but Glof Club is also not bad lol..

  12. Mystery Games on Tue, 3rd Feb 2009 1:17 am 

    Pretty funny list. I have to say, bricks should have made the list.

  13. Rock Ballads on Tue, 3rd Feb 2009 1:22 am 

    Dude! What about a candle stick? Tell me you’ve played Clue!

  14. Youth Baseball Bats on Tue, 17th Feb 2009 1:49 am 

    Probably my favorite part of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure was when Genghis Khan grabbed those those baseball bats in the sports store and went on a rampage on those manikins. That is when I realized that light, metal baseball bats made great weapons.

  15. joe comp on Wed, 18th Feb 2009 2:27 pm 

    number 8 its arthistic i think

  16. tawan on Wed, 25th Feb 2009 8:58 am 

    Thanks for the owner this blog and the artical is suitable for current event.

  17. kyle on Fri, 6th Mar 2009 3:24 am 

    frozen hamm all the way

  18. romania recruitment on Thu, 19th Mar 2009 8:19 pm 

    The top is missing the most common weapon: BEER BOTTLE. ;)

  19. golf shop on Thu, 2nd Apr 2009 4:32 pm 

    Baseball bat and golf club is my choice. hehe…
    Will try out others you’ve mentioned in the post. ;)

  20. Road lights on Mon, 18th May 2009 9:24 am 

    Very effective lol

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