~ How to make human stew

This is my special recipe for making human stew, yum yum:

The Ingredients:
-One human being.
-Lemon Juice.
-Olive Oil.
-Salt
-Strong dissolving acid (H2SO4 recommended)
-Saw

First of all get one human, preferably someone you don’t like, place him/her in a large plastic container, or you could just use the tub but make sure to plug the drain to save the blood, we’ll need that later, now, chop off the head with a large knife, take the chopped off head and crack it open using a hammer, remove the brain and place it in the blender, add some lemon juice, olive oil and a tea spoon of salt, turn on the blender and let it mix thoroughly, pour the brain mix into a large cup.

go back to the decapitated body, chop off the hand and feet, wrap them up in a plastic bag and store them in the freezer, they’ll be useful later for making human salami. cut open the belly and remove the liver and kidneys, crack open the chest and remove the lungs and heart (might need saw to cut through the rib cage) , place the liver, kidneys, lungs and heart into the blender, mix for 5-10 seconds to create a semi-solid syrup, now, pour the acid onto the body slowly to tender it up, once the body has been dessolved properly and turned into a slime like goo, mix it up with the blood and pour the mix into a frying pan, add the internal organs syrup and stir the mix and cook on a low flame for 20 minutes until you have the stew ready.

serve the stew and brain juice mix with some garlic and rice.

Enjoy